I graduated from college a month and a half ago… and I have no clue as to what to do next. A lot of my time is spent here, on the computer, looking for jobs, participating in social media as a distraction while I find one. Really, my one consolation is this blog. Every site I read tells me to focus on the positive, that figuring out what to do, and where to find a job is hard, but it’s all easier said than done.
I moved to LA. I have my own apt, which I’ve had before but pretty soon, the money is going to run out and that’s incredibly scary. Everything in my life before now has involved some sort of set plan. I could choose some things but most of the decisions were chosen for me. I chose my major (Technical Theatre) but once that choice was made, it meant conforming to a set plan of courses. I chose What school I went to. I chose each place I lived, but all of those decisions were supported financially by my mother and with the influence of those around me. Now that I’ve graduated, those influencing voices are gone. Instead I’m left with making the hardest decisions of my life, and the idea that if they go wrong, I’ll not only be out on the street, but branded a failure, and left with bad credit and a bad reputation. It’s petrifying.
So what do I do about it. Well you can say I pick myself back up and work even harder, but always in the back of my mind is the looming threat of failure. I think the best advice I can give to myself and those suffering the same thing, is to just breathe. I’m going to have to take it one step at a time.
I also have to stop running away from my problems. TV, and film can be nice distractions, but they aren’t going to get me anywhere.
I’ve been making myself leave the house on a regular basis too. Whether it’s to see a friend, or visit family, it’s good to keep myself connected to more than the job search sites I’ve bookmarked in Google Chrome. I need to be careful however that I don’t let the visits and play, get in the way however, and become escapes themselves.
Many times I’ve thought how much easier it would be if I moved back in with my family. My mother would like nothing more, because she needs a babysitter to help her out nights, and a lot of her problems would be solved with a live-in nanny. I would be relieved of the pressure to figure out what else to do with my life, and the threat of really trying to make it in the world, then truly failing. Many nights, I’ve slid into the self-defeating attitude of acceptance into this possiblity. I’ve conceded my work to the TV and consolled myself with ice-cream and the thought of my fall-back option.
But that would be running. I moved to LA with a plan, and now that I’m already here, I need to see it through. It may not have been the smartest, or the easiest plan, but it’s here, and there’s no use wasting it. I need to make it work.
So what does this all have to do with you? Well I hope that if any of you are going through this, you’ll know that there is someone else out there who can’t always see the bright side of post-graduation life. That no, life is not rainbows and easy pie, but I’m trying. That has to be enough… and, it’s making me feel better just to write about it.
P.S. If any of you know of a job opening, I’ll be happy to hear about it.
My mom shared this funny video on Facebook. How To Get Out Of Debt on SNL.