I told Mama I want to be a Peace Advice Representative when I grow up, only I didn’t know what it was called until she told me. I just told her I wanted to work with the Garks and she told me all about the different types of jobs to do and that one sounded best. The Peace Advisors have to be really smart though and really nice, but they get to see the Garks all the time so I have to work on both. I’m not very smart and Mama says I need to be nicer because I yell when I want something or when I don’t want something which is all the time, but the Garks yell all the time so I will fit right in.
When the Garks talk on tv they sound like the kids in the special ed class because they yell and can’t pronounce the “t” sound. Mama says it’s because their tongues are too short and it’s not nice to laugh at the way they sound but I can’t help it and I don’t mean anything bad by it. They can roll their “r”s though like you have to do in Spanish and I can’t do that so that’s one thing they can do that I can’t and they sound better in Spanish.
I want to meet them and learn all about their planet which is really far away and takes three whole years to get to. I don’t even remember three years ago and when Mama talks about thongs I did it seems like she’s talking about a different person. I wonder if you would even remember who you were when you left when you got there but Mama says that is silly and people only forget who they are when they get bumped on the head. She says that I will remember who I am three years from now but I wonder. She said if everyone forgot who they were three years ago then she wouldn’t remember that she was my mother and then where would we be. Now I have nigtmares about her forgetting who I am and Mama complains that she can’t tell me anything without me getting upset. I think she wants to forget me sometimes.
But the Garks remember everything. They are really smart and remember things from a thousand years ago from the last time they visited and humans couldn’t talk yet. They say that is why we have monkeys and now all the scientists are mad because they got it wrong. Mama says she honks the Garks are lying and the truth will come out but she want to know why they are lying but daddy tells her to leave work at work.
Mama works in a big grey building accross town for the government and I can only visit on Mondays because otherwise the crazy people that visit her office are too crazy and mean for me to be around and they could be dangerous. I have nightmares about the crazy people too. They laugh in my race and dance like monkeys and then kidnap Mama and never let her come home. I worry that the dreams might come true because one time I dreamed that my best friend Katie hurt her knee and then the next day she did and another time I dreamed that daddy lost his job and then a week later he did and he could never find another one. Mama says I worry too much.
I wonder if we will learn more about Garks in school today. Mama says that they can’t teach is everthing there is to know about Garks in the second grade because then there wouldn’t be time for anything else like math or earth history or spelling or art but in art all I do is draw Garks. I draw squiggly lines for their fur in all different browns and blacks and their long faces and long arms and long legs. Their arms and legs bend both ways and looks really gross and like it hurts so I only draw them the one way. I wonder what they use the third arm which grows outof their backs for. They use the third arm as proof and say that is why monkeys have tails but if that’s true then where did the fingers go.
Mama says that if we are so smart and the Garks are so smart then how come monkeys aren’t smarter, but I tell her that she is really smart and daddy is really smart and I’m stupid so maybe that’s just how it works sometimes. Mama tells me I’m smart but I don’t feel smart and all the other kids laugh at me when I don’t know the answers. Except when it comes to Garks because I know more about Garks than any of them.
When I get home from school Mama and daddy are arguing really loud and daddy is scared. Mama tells him he is just being silly though, just like she always tells me so I think it will be alright. Mama is going to talk to the Garks and see what they are up to just like I want to when I grow up. I say I really want to go too but daddy gets even more scared which I didn’t think was possible and Mama says no because it will be like when it’s not Monday at her work so I say ok but I go cry in my room for an hour until it is time for dinner.
At dinner I ask if it will really be like when it’s not Monday and she tells me not to worry but I do because I never thought of Garks as scary before and I wonder what other things I thought were normal might be scary and maybe I out to be more careful.
That night I dream of dancing monkeys again only this time they are Garks not crazy people. I scream and cry and beg my mom not to go in the morning and I don’t want to go anymore either. She can’t get me to go back to sleep because I don’t want to. I’m scared it might come true like it did with Katie and daddy’s job but she says hush and everything will be fine. Daddy doesn’t believe her and neither do I and we are right because mama never comes home again.
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