Ted: Hello.
Brittany: Hello.

Ted: Are you still sulking?
Brittany: I have no idea what you mean.
Ted: Oh really?

Ted: Fine. Have it your way.
Brittany: What do you want me to do? Act like everything is normal? How could you do this to me?
Ted: Okay, not the response I was expecting.
Brittany: Why? Because it’s not yours?
Ted: Well – Yeah.

Ted: I don’t know why you’re sulking. You’ve been promoted – upgraded to first class.
Brittany: Oh because your life is so great?
Ted: No, I guess not, according to your standards, but my life isn’t yours. You can do whatever you want with this information.
Brittany: That’s exactly the problem.

Brittany: And how do I know it’s true?
Ted: Faith.
Brittany: Faith?
Ted: Yeah, faith. You know all we have to go on is faith. Everybody believes in something and is striving toward someplace. You making fun of the entire world now.
Brittany: No, just you.
Ted: What are you saying you don’t believe me? That I made a mistake in trusting you with this?
Brittany: No.

Brittany: I believe you. I just think that this is some BIG cosmic mistake. I mean look at us. Who would ever even care to ask us?
Ted: I’ve been thinking a lot –
Brittany: You? Thinking?
Ted: You wanna hear this or not?
Brittany: Fine go ahead; although you spoke without my permission before. Go!
Ted: I think that’s the point.
Brittany: What is?
Ted: That no one would ever speak to us. If someone cared enough to what we, insignificant and small little wretches that we are, had to say, then that person would be worthy of our secret. That person would learn the true meaning of life, and achieve what creation has in store for them.
Brittany: Ha. That’s deep.
Ted: Shut up.

Brittany: How am I supposed to live my life again like nothing is wrong, or better, or different or – How can I live a lie?
Ted: You did it before.
Brittany: Without knowing.
Ted: Somewhere deep inside you knew.
Brittany: Without the conscious knowledge.
Ted: Semantics.
Brittany: Life.
Ted: You say toh-may-toh, I say toh-mah-toh.
Brittany: You know what I mean.
Ted: Actually no I don’t. It’s been too long. Like how they say couples shouldn’t wait to long to have kids because then they wont be able to relate to them.
Brittany: Well you are just a fountain of useful facts today aren’t you?
Ted: I have my moments.

Brittany: Why me?
Ted: You have good coloring and you can swim faster than the rest. Your life span is probably longer than the others.
Brittany: No. I mean, why us? Why here? Why now?
Ted: It has always been us.

Brittany: Hey Ted?
Ted: Yes?
Brittany: Two goldfish walk into a pond. One of them turns to the other an-
Ted: Please stop. You can only hear a joke so many times.
Brittany: Sorry. I’m working with limited material here though.

Brittany: Hey Ted?
Ted: Oh, come on. I really have heard them all.
Brittany: For real Ted – What if I don’t make it?
Ted: Then it’s too bad.
Brittany: That’s it? No loop holes. No way to figure it out completely. What if I tell someone else?
Ted: I told you.
Brittany: You’ll be gone soon.
Ted: Yes.

Brittany: Hey Ted?

Brittany: Ted?


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